Getting Ready

I remember the moment of discouragement when my poetry and creative blog started dwindling. I had been walking in this creative place at such a great pace. Anything around me was a prompt. I was waking up in the middle of the night with words spilling out of my soul. I couldn’t help but notice every drop of water on the windshield or give myself extra time to get somewhere just so I could go on a walk.

I was enjoying every moment, but then I wrote something that felt a little more raw. It talked about grief; the breath, pulse and song within it. It probably could have been a series of pieces, but I shared just one from a dream I had and then I stopped.

Discouragement can be detrimental. It can be nasty, because it sneaks in like a small thing. It makes you pause just once, then it slows you down just enough to make you think you’re making progress, but you’re really just making excuses and actually slowing down. I didn’t even acknowledge the pain or hurt at the time. It wasn’t until recently (a year and half later?) that I actually saw and addressed it. It just kind of crept in, but it stupefied my creative journey.

I started to question and then I began doubting. I stopped, then tried to continue, but then I stopped; stunted… and it has been back and forth like that for too long. I feel dumb admitting it, but all the stop and go was for the approval of others. Others…